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These tips will help you survive the apocalypse

The end of mankind is described in the ancient texts of various religions. The doomsday has been proclaimed for centuries by prophets, priests, doomsayers and street corner Bible sellers. In short, we are all going to die, even if not everyone agrees on the date and how our creator will let the world go down.

Will a meteorite strike devastatingly and wipe out humanity? Will it be a nuclear war and our self-destructive nature bring down our civilisation? Or is the Black Death once again at the door and a virus will kill us all? Whoever knows may say.

We had better prepare for when doomsday arrives. But what should you do to survive the apocalypse? These tips will help you dodge the insurmountable.

Build a bunker


A logical first step. Hiding under a tree or in grandma’s old trusty garden shed will not suffice when the surface of our planet is wiped out. An underground concrete bunker will protect you from all that apocalyptic violence over your head. While you’re at it, build a gym and games room in there right away, because boredom can kill too. Not unimportant; invest in a good air ventilation system with filter, otherwise you won’t even survive the trip to the chemical toilet.

Hamstering


Without food and drink you will die, and that is exactly what you want to avoid. So make sure you have plenty of water and canned food in your bunker. A can opener is also handy. Make it a sport to recreate the local supermarket while setting up your shelter. Choose long-life products; after all, you don’t know how long you will have to play hide-and-seek with skinny Hein. Products high in carbohydrates and protein are good for you, although after a while you won’t bother with a tin of cat food. Better buy it now, because after doomsday, your bonus card will be of no use to you.

Knowledge is survival


When all the doctors and handymen in the world have been chased to the eternal hunting grounds, you will still have to treat your broken middle finger yourself. Repairing a generator also becomes difficult if you don’t know how to distinguish between a spark plug and a toothbrush. So a bit of knowledge is also useful. Buy or rent every book for dummies available, or throw aside your Donald Duck and embark on a self-study in medicine. Teach yourself how to turn a hubcap into a coffee maker, and what you need to treat pneumonia. An overdose of antibiotics among the tins of soup in the pantry is no luxury.

Be self-sufficient


Running to the greengrocer for a head of lettuce and to the butcher for a plump chicken is no longer an option in a post-apocalyptic world. Maybe chickens will have become legal tender, you never know. So make sure you have a chicken coop and a vegetable garden. Chickens come from eggs, or vice versa, so handy. A goat, besides being a best friend, is also a great source of milk, from which you can in turn make cheese. In short, the fresh food department in your safe bunker can be opened.

Arm yourself


Not everyone in the world is as prepared as you are, so the few survivors of the Apocalypse will be highly motivated to take away your precious possessions, by force if necessary. So make sure you arm yourself. Camouflage your bunker so you are less likely to be found, so be careful with Christmas lights, even if it reminds you of the old days. Be armed to the teeth and put some time into making an alarm system, because you don’t want them to take your safe and cosy spot from you, do you?

Now you know what to do when all hell breaks loose, because not even the wrath of our creator can touch you. Keep that rock coming.

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